Daily Life

Of Course It’s Like That

• Of course the rolls of TP are so small they are like single use.
• Of course we have a rock under our refrigerator to level it.
• Of course our circuit trips often in the apartment (see electrical wonderland section for more fun stories)
• Of course there is only 1 heat level in the showers (because the knob doesn’t work, we set the temperature at the hot water heater and hope for the best).
• Of course stores only carry up to a women’s size 10 in shoes.
• Of course an XL is a US size 8-10.

Access Denied

• Netflix won’t chill. First, I can’t get certain shows like The Great British Bake-off! I hadn’t finished the season. But we installed a VPN and alas, we can watch the rest of the season of shows we started. Next, Netflix figured out we are using it in Portugal & San Diego.
• Credit Limited. We started getting our credit card denied and we didn’t know why. Then we realized they started us with a really low credit limit. We could get it increased by going into the bank, but we found an easier fix: pay the balance through the month.

What’s that Sound?

• Bells. The bells ring from 7am until 10pm daily. They are just the right loudness. Sometimes the bells ring longer and we think it is to signify a special day.
• Siren. What I thought was a signal for lunch, is actually the Bombeiros testing the siren every day at 1pm.
• Recycle pick up. This strangely happens around midnight or 1am. We live close to the bins (line of sight) and to empty them involves hydraulics. The top rises up so that all the trash and recycling that has been deposited can be collected. You would think this would be a sleep disturbance but after the first couple of times I don’t hear it anymore.
• Street sweepers. The one thing the cats are truly afraid of is the street sweepers. And street sweeping happens many days of the week around 8am-9am.
• Window Shutters. At night, many people pull down these rolling shutters. It makes a sound and at first I had no idea what it was.
• It’s probably only fireworks. People shoot off fireworks at random times — like 10pm on a Tuesday.
• Hunting days are Sundays & Thursdays. It’s best to stay out of the hills on those days. They hunt wild boar and birds.

It’s Completely Natural

• Toxic caterpillars! The procession caterpillar is found on pine trees near the beach. The hairs of these caterpillars have toxins. The contact is often airborne and causes rashes. Dogs are super susceptible and can get necrosis, and it can be fatal!

Electrical Wonderland

In the Apartment

Our electrical circuit trips all the time. Even when we think we got it dialed in on what we can have on at the same time, we are surprised.

• Circuit tripped with only 2 burners on, no heater on.
• Washing Machine + anything else.
• Heater, Oven, more than 1 burner.
• Microwave and 2 of the following: oven, heater, burner.

All the high draw items are on the same circuit, so it be tripping a lot. We also have an electrical situation that the electrician figured out and then told us “never touch.”

The AC/Heat Split Systems. Having visited in August, we asked the landlords if we can put in air conditioning. They did it for us and installed two split units. These buildings are old and built out of thick brick, so they have to drill a hole from outside to inside and route the equipment through that hole. Then, to give it power, they run an electrical cable outside the balcony and through another hole and into the apartment. So yes, we have daisy chained extension cords. I’m sure it will be fine.

Trip Me Out

Here is a small sample of electrical wires that trip me out.

Amazon in Portugal

If you told me a week ago, that I’d be writing a five paragraph essay on Amazon purchases in Portugal, I wouldn’t have believed you. But here I am. It is rather easy to order from Amazon; it is the receiving the order that is the tricky part.

Here is what I learned:

• Amazon does not exist in Portugal but if you want something from Amazon you order from Amazon Spain.
• You can order from Amazon Spain using your Amazon U.S. credentials. Yet in my case it triggered as suspicious activity and my account got locked. It’s fixed now.
• You won’t see Amazon trucks, deliveries are sourced out to package couriers.
• My order was split across 3 package couriers (CTT, Correos Express, and SEUR).
• Package couriers won’t leave the package (aka you need to be home)
• Communication is good-ish. CTT gives a 5 hour window and sends a text message on the day of delivery. Correos Express gives a 24 hour window, and sends an email the day before. SEUR let’s Amazon do the talking.

The first delivery was from CTT, which is a Portuguese company that manages the postal service. I saw the missed delivery, but I was at home. What gives?

Pretty quickly this started to feel a bit like an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants where SpongeBob is waiting for a bus at Bikini Bottom. He waits an extremely long time and every time he steps away for a second, the bus races by and he misses it every single time. By the way, this is the only SpongeBob episode I’ve ever seen but I have been able to reference it a lot.

They would try again on Monday, but I had an appointment at 12h15. Surely they wouldn’t deliver then. When I got out of my appointment, I saw the missed call and saw a CTT truck parked alongside the road. I walked over and I asked the delivery person if they were trying to deliver an Amazon package. Before I could finish, the guy said “for Pamela (pa-MELL-ah)?” Ok woah.

Another package, another courier. This time it is Correos Express, part of the Spain postal service. We were only about 12 hours into their delivery window when we decided to chance it and get some grocery shopping done. You know what happens next. That Bikini Bottom bus speeds by — my phone rings right when we get to the store. The driver said they would try again later. And sure enough, later that night, he had returned with my package. What a nice guy!

Now the 3rd courier, SEUR, sounds like a French company but this is out of Madrid. I had received an email from Amazon of a missed delivery the day before. Now, this was a Bikini Bottom bus I didn’t know I was waiting for because the package was due to arrive on Thanksgiving day. On Tuesday, we stayed close to the apartment and around 12h30, they called for delivery. Coming up, we also met our across the hall neighbor Nuno who lives with this girlfriend, Beatrice, and their 2 cats. Nuno also told me that CTT had been looking for me!

So as you can see, this is a lot of hit and miss, and has a bit of a small town vibe. Doing my own research, I learned that CTT has a service called “Locky” which is a package locker service. With Locky, you basically give a virtual address which you can use on Amazon. As seems to be par for course, the first delivery attempt didn’t work — my order has moved to “on hold” due to “external circumstances.” New day, new experience — Locky worked! A short walk to receive it, and accessing the Locky box was muito fácil.

Package Delivery

In my long week 2 rant about receiving packages in Portugal, I focused on delivery to the apartment and delivery to a lockbox. This week, I tried delivery to the post office — BIG MISTAkE!

It starts with a text message saying to pick up my package. The landlord was here making some fixes to the apartment, and we told him that we were going to run down to the post office to pick up our packages and would be back in 5 minutes. Oh, how naive we were.

Arriving at the post office is fast, as it is only 250m and we found a secret shortcut that makes it even faster. When we get there, there are quite a few people inside, and we go to the Kiosk to get a ticket. Faced with the menu of choices, we decided NOT to choose “GENERAL” because that has gotten us in trouble before and instead chose “PARCELS” because that seemed logical. I had my B-0021 ticket in my hand and noticed there was only. one person working. Many minutes pass and we decided that Tom should head back to the apartment to help the landlord.

About 20 minutes pass, and B-0021 is called. I feel guilty as only the “B” tickets have been called and when I go up, it should be no surprise to you all — I CHOSE THE WRONG TICKET. During the 20 minutes of waiting several more people have entered. I was now A-0142 and they were stagnated at A-0129. Oh dear.

The transactions going on at the counter seem to be mostly financial as lots of cash is being counted out and given to clients. There is the occasional document exchange, and over to the side another woman appears to handle a notary appointment.

About 10 minutes before closing, they call A-0129 and the women quickly retrieves her package and is on her way. Then they call A-0130. We are on a roll! The next number is a B or C. We all groan. People start getting mad, and arms sweep the area indicating “look at all these people.”

It seems that they were purposely deprioritizing the package pickup because there was only 2 called over the course of an hour. Suddenly the As were going, lots of people had left so we were going through the tickets rather quickly. One women was told her package wasn’t here. That went over well, and I think a few words were exchanged. Someone gave me A-0139 ticket and it was called immediately.

The notary helped me and even though she located the packages quickly, I still had to wait for the counter person who was helping A-0138. She calls A-0140, and I was like “oh no” but remembered that I was holding A-0142 too. A man seemed to say “she’s next” pointing at my packages and then at me.

The counter woman seemed annoyed to see me. She scanned the boxes, and asked for my document. I showed her the pickup emails and guess what? WRONG CHOICE. The document she wanted was my identification. Thankfully I had it. Then I signed two papers and was out on the street. The street was all lit up with cheery Christmas lights, and I trudged along with two large-ish packages. Mission accomplished.

Update: not all my order arrived so I got a notification on Friday that there was another package for me. This time I went at 14:00 right after they re-opened after lunch, I was A-0072 and they started at A-0065. This time, it took only 20 minutes. The person who helped me yesterday did not seem too pleased to see me, but luckily I got the other person when my number was called.

Portuguese Medical System

My awkwardness checking into for the CT scan is s mixture of a I Love Lucy and Seinfeld episode. Spoiler alert: this is a “no soup for you” experience.

If you know me, you know I’m a bit accident prone. Arriving to Tavira, my back had gone out. Last week’s clinic visit resulted in this week’s CT scan and the imaging place was only 500 meters from the apartment. I was encouraged when I received a text message reminding me to arrive 15 minutes early, bring my ID, my referral paperwork, and method of payment. This felt like how it worked in the U.S.

Making sure I had all the required items, I enter the building and go directly to the kiosk to get a ticket. The menu is entirely in Portuguese and I narrow it down pretty quickly to two choices. Deciding to pick the first one, I grab my ticket and sit in the empty waiting room.

Note, the picture above is taken off the internet, and edited slightly for dramatic effect. It is the exact place I went, and you’ll see the kiosk off to the right in the picture.

My number is called and I go up, handing the receptionist my ticket and my paperwork. She looks at my ticket and pulls a face. I look around. She is the only one behind the counter and I am still the only one in the waiting area. I quickly realize nothing is going to happen until I get the right ticket. I apologize, take the 3 steps over to the kiosk and press the other option. I start to step toward her but the air is so thick with warning, that I go back to be seated.

The waiting room is still empty, she is still the only one behind the counter, and I wait for my number to be called, again. When it is, I return to the counter and sheepishly admit that I don’t speak Portuguese (even though I highly suspected that she figured that out already). Speaks to me in English with an accent that I took as tone. I tried my best to anticipate what she needed, treating her a bit like the soup nazi. When she pushed paperwork to me, I acted like signing Portuguese medical documents was something I knew a lot about. There were checkboxes, and recognizing the word for agreement (concordo), I choose that. I slide the completed paperwork back to her with a confidence of someone going “all in” at a poker table. She seemed unimpressed. As she is scanning in the documents, I turn to look at the waiting room behind me. It now has two people in it. They look like the type who would select the correct option at the kiosk, I think to myself. I heard the receptionist say the word “ultimo” which, as I learned in my pilates class, means last one! She doesn’t say anything else to me and I linger awkwardly before joining my two other friends in the waiting area.

I made the wrong choice. As soon as I sit down she lets me know that “we are not finished.” I do the walk of shame back to the counter. Now it’s her turn to slide me a piece of paper. She points at the date and says “you come back on Dec 4th.” My heart sank, and almost as if I were trying be even more stupid to this receptionist, I said: “oh, I thought my appointment was today.” Her eyes looked like she was ready to be done with me, and then she said “Your exam IS today. This is the date you pick up your results. Now you can sit and wait.”

Happy to be away from the counter, I want to be sure I recognize my own name being called as my confidence pretty low. I listened carefully with so much focus that I had almost convinced myself that I forgot my name entirely. Soon, a man came out, a name was called, I recognized it as mine, and followed the man into a tiny room. He spoke to me in Portuguese and then thankfully in English. The room had 3 doors, the one I entered and two that said not to enter. This was a set up to my next mistake. Fortunately, I picked the correct door!

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