Arriving back to the U.S. after 19 months felt like an assault to the senses. Being in Lisbon on Portugal Day with all its busyness didn’t quite prepare me for re-entry.
Lisbon was busy and joyous. LA just felt busy and frantic. Maybe these are unfair comparisons, a festival at 9pm vs freeway at 9pm.
Then there was the quiet welcome. A plate of cookies and a meal waiting in the fridge. And an instant feeling of warmth and safety.
Warmth & Safety
The feeling of warmth and safety would ebb and flow over the next 14 days. I knew I was here with the big job of emptying my San Diego home, but I didn’t quite know I was going to leave with a broken heart. You see, it is easy to push feelings down, especially when you stay busy and stay hidden.
Here I am, peeking out the front window at the homes of people who I lived amongst but really don’t know. These people would come by and talk to me in the days ahead, and I had speaking points prepared.
Fast-forward: answered questions about our plans with politeness, and added coolness for the strangers who lingered longer (we were so busy that spinning up new friends in a neighborhood we were leaving wasn’t in the plans).
Too Fast
Apparently you can re-introduce mexican food too fast. But we persisted anyway.
Garage Sale Day
I’m not going to lie: I love a good garage sale! Arriving to San Diego at midnight on Friday, a Saturday garage sale didn’t seem impossible. It was. I pushed it to Sunday.
I strategized on the garage sale logistics, utilizing garage shelving to make it more like a store. I positioned it right inside the garage so all I had to do in the morning was push the garage door opener to the waiting throngs of shoppers.
I opened the door to an empty driveway instead. OK this is weird. I’ve never had a lackluster start to a garage sale. Was everyone up late watching the FIFA World Cup?
Knowing I had two weekends to empty the house it was too early to panic. But I did anyway.
I had larger items listed on the usual places of Nextdoor and Facebook Marketplace. I was not so much as getting nibble, so I decided to risk my life and add Craigslist into the mix. Not even the scammers and murders were interested. This was getting awkward.
Eventually people started showing up to the garage sale. We met a couple who are moving back to the US after years away. After the husband finished selecting an impressive amount of books, they picked out a instant home starter kit – bed, couches, dining room table, lamps and so on.
Some of Maisy & Melody’s cat items went to the couple’s bunny. I received this picture a few days later and felt a contentment I had not expected. It was in that moment that I focused less on selling, and more on placing my items.
Emotional Highs
I could not wait to see my kids! At the same time, the for sale sign lurking in the front yard was a bit of an emotional deterrent and I wanted to offer space.
Connor strolled in sometime on Friday morning and my tears just started. I remember feeling so short and him so tall. Bryce arrived later that night, and we had a different set of tears. Kyle joined in on garage sale day and he hugged me before I could cry.
Yes, hugs happened. Regular family things happened too.
We all went to check out Connor’s new apartment. Everyone doing their own assessment.
Then we headed for Korean Barbecue.
I brought gifts back from Portugal, and somewhere in the blur of lunches, outings, and half-finished conversations, I think they made it into the right hands.
The Unexpected
The goal was to empty the house. And, along the way, the occasional unexpected item was re-discovered. My kindergarten and blue bird outfit, the custom triple team fitness shirt I got one mother’s day, my dad’s UC Berkeley stein, my parent’s high school yearbooks, a quilt my grandma made, the Betty Crocker box tops my mom used to buy me my wedding present, and the wedding cake toppers. My mom’s yellowed but intact, mine with Tom breaking out in dance.
All the Christmas stuff was not unexpected but definitely could be organized better. And so, penguins were stored with penguins and sloths with sloths. Classic ornaments separated from the felt ornaments, and the beachy ornaments gathered together as set. My baby stocking, and the one we used for guests were folded up together. Items were packed and ready for storage.
This chicken lady ornament, acquired at a white elephant exchange, finally met its demise.
Friendly Faces
We saw people we didn’t think we would, and didn’t see people we thought we would.
Sometimes photos were taken to mark the moment: John from HP coming by to pick up my bike and boxing system, an in-person meeting with Lisa from Mission Wealth, a very belated visit to Charles, who we met in the rose garden so many years ago, a quick visit with Theresa (and Connor), and a potluck with a group of co-workers from HP.
There was more. It just wasn’t pictured.
Familiar Places
The familiar places were mostly still familiar, though my eyes were different.
Our neighborhood grocery store was rearranged and more balloons than I remember hovered overhead. These in anticipation of the 4th of July, and in celebration of the FIFA World Cup.
The Torrey Pines Gliderport now has a more extensive snack bar and a full bar.
We had a brief visit to the Balboa Park Botanical Garden which was under construction when we were here last.
A view of downtown from Charles’ place, a vantage I’ve never quite had before.
The views from Mount Soledad were as impressive as ever.
The San Diego fair photographed from a secret location.
La Jolla was more bird-y than I remembered.
And we captured ourselves in the water from the sea wall at Children’s Pool.
Echo
As the days went by, fewer things remained in the house.
We achieved an echo-y state.
The staging furniture was removed at the same moment other items were being hauled away, and the house started sounding less like ours.
The van arrived to take the selected items to storage and that was when I got my first super big case of the feels. I didn’t know it either, but there would be more.
Closure
This is the house where the kids spent their middle school and high school years. It is where we packed up their bags for college and unpacked them again each year. It is where everyone came back to during quarantine. It served us well during those times.
For the next chapter to begin, the last one must end. One night before everyone headed off to where they needed to be next, we all gathered at the house — one last time together.
Saying goodbye to this house is important closure.
I told my kids that when I start to feel sad, I think about being grateful instead.
“By giving gratitude, you’re giving closure to the relationship with that object, and by doing so, it becomes a lot easier to let go.” — Marie Kondo
Final Days
The final days flash like still photos, like watching someone else’s slide show.
Eating a Mona Lisa #8 Italian Sub in our backyard.
Family Room, giving lonely
One last swim
The Kitchen with door open
Master bedroom
The kids’ rooms 😭😭😭
Time to go
More Portugal
Read more about daily life, the embarrassing moments, and the process for having a long stay in Portugal. If you are more of a picture person, follow me on Instagram.
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